Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I have fence marks all over my body
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
