a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
i need some magic done to my vagina
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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