something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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