My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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