Whod you bang
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
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