oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
