Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
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