Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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