And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize
