i wish peter jackson would direct porn
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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