she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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