My Higher Power is John Stamos
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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