He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize