puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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