Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
