come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
