You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
