a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I hate all girls vehemently.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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