My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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