Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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