reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
