Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
