Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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