Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
