I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I would ride that face into the sunset
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
