stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
