I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
