In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
time to smoke my breakfast
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
My ATM looks so different sober.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
