i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
