i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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