miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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