THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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