I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
The best revenge is premature balding
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
