I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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