I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
