My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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