i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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