I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize