Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
