hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
