i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
