I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
