Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
