I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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