I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
