Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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