Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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