we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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