a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
