roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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