dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
