How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
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