Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Randomize
