It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
