are you still at the devil's house?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
