Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
