I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
