i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
