don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
No subtext here. People are naked.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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