I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize