So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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