don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
