Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
