im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
