i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
