Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize